Trial By Fire

I saw a journal prompt that called out to me on Teri Leigh Owens' blog (http://www.inspiretobelieve.blogspot.com/) that I thought I would answer here. The prompt was to write about a tough time that you've gone through that has made you stronger. That's an easy one - it was the year and a half between when I first found out that my kidneys were failing and I needed a transplant and when I actually had the surgery.


We had always been told that transplantation was an eventual possibility for me. But because I had been healthy for so long, it was easy enough to sweep those thoughts under the rug and forget about them. Having the news come at me out of the blue really hit me hard. My first thought when the doctor told me the news was "If this is God's idea of a joke, I'm not laughing." After the initial shock wore off, the fear and the anger set it. I often thought, "How could God do this to me?" I didn't realize it at the time, but He was getting ready to teach me some really important lessons about my life, my faith, my beliefs and what it means to trust fully and completely in Him.


One of the first symptoms of my kidneys shutting down that I experienced was anemia. Have you ever had a day when you woke up really tired, and felt like you didn't have the energy to get out of bed? That's pretty much what it was like for me every day. I got tired going up and down stairs, I got tired taking my dog outside to go to the bathroom (at the time we were trying to keep her as an indoor dog), I even got tired just brushing my hair. My doctor warned me that it would happen; I just never expected it to start so soon. A few weeks after finding all of this out, I went to work at the Bible camp down the road for the summer. I got through the two training weeks okay, but by the end of the first week of camp I was completely exhausted, and things went downhill from there. I used to cry myself to sleep at night because I was so exhausted, and I woke up in the morning praying for enough strength to get through just one more day. By the beginning of the final week of camp, I was ready to go to the camp director and quit - I didn't think I could handle any more.


But you know what? God was right there with me all the time. I couldn't see it at the time, but looking back now I can see all the hundreds of ways that he was looking after me when I didn't have the strength to look after myself. There were my camp friends who were there for me with hugs and prayers whenever I needed them and offers to help me with my work chores and optional activities if I needed the rest or just needed extra help, there was the camp director assigning me more experienced CITs (counsellors-in-training) to help me, there was the way that I always managed to find the strength to get through that "one more day", there was the encouragement from the campers and pastors who came each week when they found out what I was dealing with, there were so many things. I often think of the poem "Footprints" by Margaret Fishback Powers, and I know that this was one of the times in my life when I would see only one set of footprints - my Heavenly Father was carrying me in His arms because I didn't have the strength to go on by myself.


It was during this time that I found my verse (you can see it on my sidebar). I came across it in a book that I was reading. When I read the words, I suddenly felt like God was speaking to me directly through the book and telling me that I had to trust in Him, and that everything was going to be alright. I memorized that verse, and I used to repeat it to myself whenever I got scared. I have a beautiful Thomas Kinkade bookmark with another version of this verse on it. It says "Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the way for you to follow". That's the biggest thing that I learned from all of this - to keep following Him, even when I can't see what lies around the next bend. He's know what's there, and He won't let me fall. I realize now that I can't make it on my own, in spite of my best efforts to do so. I need Him to guide me through the rough spots and to hold out that beacon of hope for me to follow.

When I reflect on this time in my life, I often think of the song "Refiner's Fire". Just as gold and silver is refined in the fire to make it stronger, God used this time to "refine" me to make me stronger. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today if not for what I went through. Thanks God.

A Monday Laugh

The final Big Blog Challenge topic is to post a great email that you got. Here's one that one of my co-workers sent me:

This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 'No..I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.'

Cell phones, don't you just love them?

TTFN!

Happy Birthday to me!

Another year, another birthday. I can't complain too much - I'm really happy where I'm at right now. Somewhere along the road I've travelled I've learned about self-acceptance; something I had trouble with when I was younger. Although I wasn't aware of it happening, I've become comfortable with who and what I am. That isn't to say there aren't still some things I'd like to change; there are some issues I'm still struggling with. But overall, I'm really happy. I've been richly blessed with all that I've been given and accomplished in life.

I want to start my post today with my birth verse (taken from http://www.birthverse.com/). "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26) I've always liked this passage from Matthew (see verses 25-31); it's a good reminder that we should not worry about our physical needs, that in all things God is looking after us. So I was really happy when I saw that my birth verse was part of one of my favourite passages.

And now...back to my birthday. Here's what the ideal way to spend my ideal birthday would be. Sleep in. Get up around 10:00 and have a nice breakfast that I didn't have to make. Stay in my pajamas until noon and play my new Nintendo game (I bought myself a little birthday gift yesterday - a Tetris game for my Ninteno DS). Get dressed and go out shopping. Meet my friend for a late lunch and maybe a movie. Go home and have my birthday dinner with my whole family (my brother would be there too). Open my gifts and have cake. Watch some TV. Go to bed. Nowhere in this scenario does going to work figure in LOL. It's nice to dream, but...

Here's how the day is actually unfolding. Got up at 6:20, got dressed and did my hair/make-up. Grabbed a cup of coffee and left for work. Listened (and sang along) to one of my new NKOTB cd's that I bought on eBay. Breakfast was a chocolate cupcake at work left over from yesterday's huddle (very tasty, but not so nutritious). Spent the morning trying to balance a report to break down the engineering hours on an invoice I was doing (and yes, it really did take all morning for the one stupid report because I kept having to go back and fix rates and hours). For lunch, I went out to Arby's and got a pecan and chicken salad wrap, potato bites and iced tea (again, very tasty but not so nutritious). YUM! It's the first time since they've had the pecan chicken salad that I've gotten it. When I got back to work, I got a parking spot closer to the door than where I had been parked this morning. I was wishing though that I could still park in stall #626 (for obvious reasons), but's it now a reserved spot for company vehicles. Oh well.

Well, time to go back to my report (it's still not working the way I need it to... GRRRRR).

TTFN!

My newest addiction is...

Webkinz. Yes, I know that I'm too old for stuffed animals (so some would say, anyway). But I don't care! I just love these little cuties - they're so cuddly. My first one was a beagle that I named Harley. After that, in no particular order ('cuz I can't remember LOL), came Cleo the black lab, Amber the yellow lab, Rudyard the reindeer and Lilo the siamese cat. Next on my list of pets to get is the cocker spaniel and the elephant. I just wish they had a dolphin - I would be all over that one. The Shining Stars plush are really cute too. I've seen a couple of those I wouldn't mind having. One's a beagle (I seem to have a thing for beagles lately), and another is a really cute bunny.

On a totally unrelated topic... I'm really quite glad that my birthday is on a Thursday this year. My favourite scrapbook store is open late Thursdays, and with my membership I get a birthday discount. But I can only use it on my actual birthday - I found that out the hard way last year. Which kind of sucks. Especially since the scrapbook store across the street from work let me use my birthday discount almost two weeks after the fact when I had a membership there. I haven't completely decided what I'm going to buy, but I do have my eye on an All My Memories tote. I also have a 40% coupon for Michael's that's good this week too. And Michael's is just down the street from the scrapbook store! I know what I'm getting with that: a Crop-In-Style Paper Sticker Binder. I need something that's sized to hold 12x12 paper for my faith scrapbooking supplies. The only problem is I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to store my new goodies - my corner of my room where I keep my scrappy stuff is overflowing as it is, and the two shelves in my closet where I also have scrappy stuff are both full. Oh, to have my own dedicated scrap space!

TTFN!

These are a few of my favourite things

Today's blog challenge topic is to list 25 of your very favourite things. I have so many favourite things that this was really easy. So without further ado, here is my list of my 25 favourite things:

Favourite Colour: Pink
Favourite Flower: Pansies
Favourite Smell: Rain
Favourite Season: Spring
Favourite Holiday: Christmas - the birth of our Saviour
Favourite Animal: Dolphin
Favourite Food: Chocolate
Favourite Restaurant: Red Lobster
Favourite Drink: Water
Favourite Ice Cream: Peanut Butter Chocolate from Baskin Robbins (suddenly I'm craving a milkshake LOL)
Favourite Perfume: Wish Of Love (Avon)
Favourite Lipstick Revlon Moisturous Lipcolour in Rosewater
Favourite Lotion: Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion
Favourite Piece of Clothing: My $4 Tommy jeans (yes you're reading that right - I got 'em at Goodwill)
Favourite Piece of Jewellery: My daughter's pride ring that my parents gave me for Christmas in 2003
Favourite Place To Hang Out: West Edmonton Mall
Favourite Place To Shop: Reitman's
Favourite Vacation Spot: California
Favourite Bible Verse: Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
Favourite Quote: "When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly." (Barbara J. Winters)
Favourite Song: "The One And Only" - Chesney Hawkes
Favourite Singer: Rebecca St. James
Favourite Group: Bon Jovi
Favourite Movie: "Lady and the Tramp"
Favourite TV Show: CSI: New York
Favourite Book: "The Princess" by Lori Wick
Favourite Author: Max Lucado
Favourite Magazine: Simple Scrapbooks
Favourite Video Game: Tetris
Favourite Way To Relax: In a hot bubble bath with a good book and some candles for atmosphere
Favourite Website: Scrapbook.com

TTFN!